As a parent you are bound to have come across various instances when you were not sure how much leeway to give your child. Most children, from preschoolers to older teens, tell you that all their friends have been given permission. In such cases, do not give in at once, but ask for more specifics such as the names of the friends who have been accorded permission. In most cases you will find that such probing reveals that no friend has been granted the much sought for permission.
When granting permission, trust your instincts and realize that less is always better. If you are not hundred per cent convinced, do not grant permission even once. The `just this once’ slogan will soon give way to ‘you let me do it last time’.
A firm no when pestered and sticking to it in spite of repeated demands will soon get the message across that you mean what you say.
Children, by nature, like to test limits, including that of your patience. The best advice that one can give to handle such a situation is to not lose your cool. Stay calm and tackle the situation as if it is a normal, everyday occurrence, even if it isn’t. Once, everything is under control, explain thins calmly and clearly in words appropriate to the age of the child.
Most children, teenagers included, like fixed routines even when they claim that they are bored by this. This gives them a sense of the all-important security. So, always stick to time schedules and times such as meal times, homework time, and house work time.
Speaking of house work, even the youngest child is not too young for household chores. Select simple tasks that the child can perform such as laying the cutlery for meals and insist that she performs it. This will not only instill a sense of confidence but also make it a matter of course later on that they perform household work.
Lastly, always remember that you are the boss at your home.